Yahoo 360 entries 5

Blahs

Okay, so I am having one of those days. I am not exactly the most public of people, there is always some kind of tough facade that I show to everyone. So much so, that anyone who gets to know me well enough and does see me crack and start crying are not sure how to handle it. I always get, "you are one of the strongest people I know." Why? Because I have to be. So, I will let you in on a secret, I cried myself to sleep last night. I am not sure why and the only feeling I can put to it is loss. I feel very lost right now and have no idea what direction I am going in - job, relationship, friendships, nothing seems to be meshing right now. I feel like there is some big change coming or maybe it is just time for something new to happen. I just wish it would get here so I can get out of this damn rut!!!

As far as I know only two people read my blog anyway, so my secret should stay pretty safe. For those of you who are on my list, read my blog and never comment, I guess you learned something new about me that you will more than likely never really see.
Wednesday February 8, 2006 - 09:57am (EST)

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Dinner?

This weekend was busy, but not hectic. I did very little housework which I am either going to have to make up throughout the week or next weekend. Of course it helped that we were on the run all week, so nobody could mess anything up.

Dinnertimes don't exist here anymore. Tuesday, basketball practice and game from 6 - 8:30 (dinnertime - serviced by BK), Wednesday - last minute finish on sceince fair project, no time for dinner. Thursday - for some reason I don't even remember Thursday, I think we actually stayed home and dinner was made up of pizza and BLT's. Friday - Science Fair (6:30 - 8:30) and I treated Jason to Outback while Ira bowled with my blonde, thin substitute. Jason and I stopped at the bowling alley on the way back home :-) Saturday, soccer game 6 - 7 (dinner time again - pizza and tuna fish sandwiches), Sunday - soccer game 6-7 (dinner was McDonalds (me) and BK (JT) drive thru) If you are what you eat I am becoming fast, cheap, and easy. Okay this week I promise one home cooked meal that does not come on a crust or between two pieces of bread.
Sunday January 29, 2006 - 09:24pm (EST)

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Recovery

Finally back home from Texas and sleeping in my own bed - yeah!!. I was so wired when I came home I didn't think I would fall asleep, boy was I wrong. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and did not fully wake up until noon - I NEVER sleep that late. I am so glad my boss told me to stay home today, that gives me a nice recovery. Maybe tomorrow, I will be rejuvenated and ready to focus. 8 weeks to Boston, 10 weeks to Cabo, and 1 year to Seattle
Tuesday January 24, 2006 - 03:15pm (EST)

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Being a woman

Sometimes I think it would just be easier to be a man. An 8 day trip to San Antonio requires me to coordinate 4 business suits, 1 evening gown, 4 business casual outfits, 2 causal plane outfits, 2 sets of gym clothes, and 5 after hours casual outfits. Shoes - a minimum of 4 pair, probably closer to 6. Plus add on pj's, swin suit, make up, hair crap, shower bag, etc. This takes careful thought and preparation.

Men can get away with a couple pair of jeans, a couple suits, dockers, and a couple shirts and 2 pair of shoes. And that is being generous, saying that they don't wear the same pair of jeans all week. Ah, to live a stress free life of low maintenace. Oh but wait, they still have to deal with us womenfolk and our stressful, anal retentive ways of thinking.
Tuesday January 10, 2006 - 09:55am (EST)

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sleep deprived

2 weeks on vacation threw off my schedule soooo bad. I have had to force myself to bed at 11 in order to hope for sleep by 12. That worked 1 night. But, not last night. My shoulder hurt, I couldn't get comfortable, I was hungry (I have no idea why, I ate plenty - including a burger and fries at 8:00), my brain kept going about every topic imaginable, I wasn't tired, etc, etc, etc. I think the last time I looked at the clock was 3:14 AM and there was zero sleep before that, not even a little 15 minute nap. Ugh, bring on the caffeine
Thursday January 5, 2006 - 08:53am (EST)

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games and movies

This whole vacation, other than being filled with holiday and guests, has been a time to play all of Jason's new board games and watch Ira's new movies. I received the ultimate woman gifts - jewelry, clothes, and house stuff - no complaints at all, I loved everything.

The great thing about playing games with a nine year old (that is not sport-related) is that I win. 3 games of Sorry Card Revenge - I won all of them, 3 games of Scene It Jr - won all those too, and I even started giving Jason and his friend a break. Then there is cribbage (not new), Ira and I have been playing some at night - I am up 6-2. Now, just to be fair - anything sports-related, they both kick my ass. How can two people know so much mindless trivial facts on sports. Jason just spent his $30 that he saved up to buy the all-knowing book on Brett Favre - yes, he is 9. Trivial Pursuit - I cannot beat Ira. Scrabble - nope, he beats me at that too. So, I will gladly take my wins and gloat. In fact, I may go buy every Scene It game available :-)

Ira and I spent time in our pj's on the couch watching Star Wars during Christmas. Which one you ask. All of them - from 3:30 12/25 to 4:00 12/26, 1 through 6 in order. Entrtaining, but now I am so sick of Star Wars that I do not need to watch any of them again until next Christmas.
Thursday December 29, 2005 - 03:01pm (EST)

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Christmas

I love Christmas. Food, cookies, presents, joy!!! I am done shopping, so now it is just food prepartaion for Christmas Eve and Christmas. My family is coming over the afternoon of Christmas Eve - 9 to 10 people. Ira's family is coming over Christmas Day - 11 people. By 3:30 - 4:00 everyone will be gone and the kids will be with their "other" parents. Ahhh, time to relax with friends and maybe a card game. Perfect, if you ask me!

And....no soccer or real basketball commitments (just open gym, totally voluntary) for more than 2 weeks. YEAH!!!!!! Now, that is what I call a real vacation. 1 1/2 days left to work.
Monday December 19, 2005 - 09:28pm (EST)

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Seasons change

Winter, the season of change, death leading to re-growth in Spring. Okay, so maybe it is the season of death. Isn't it funny that most corporations make the most changes right the middle of the season of death? Ironically, the same time as their fiscal years (who plans these things?). I think we should have May - April fiscal years, that way maybe we would see positive and growing changes instead of you are losing this, you are losing that, this person got fired, great job and by the way you are getting demoted. We could have; you are getting promoted, we are adding to your responsibilities and with more money (instead of less money), more challenges and more money, a new car. Okay, in dreamland maybe.

I am all for change, as long as it positively impacts me :-) Reward those who deserve rewards. Be patient for those who are trying. Eliminate the negativity and those who are not trying and therefore failing.

8 1/2 more working days until vacation and counting.....on to the new year and more change.
Thursday December 8, 2005 - 08:58pm (EST)

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Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving turned out to be great. Nice, relaxing dinner for Ira, myself, and his brother. My first Thanksgiving dinner turned out delicious, that was a plus. We ended up with 7 people to play cards after dinner until Midnight, it was nice to just kick back, laugh, and have fun. And, I had just enough sleep to be up at 7 for a full Friday morning of a 3v3 soccer tournament.

Back to work this week (yes, all 5 days) and our first week of Secret Santa. I love Secret Santa, it has been sooo much fun over the past few years and something I always look forward to. I am hoping for a produtive week with minimal drama. Let's see if that works out ;-)
Monday November 28, 2005 - 07:40pm (EST)

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Relaxation

Okay, so I have checked my e-mail twice today and I probably will one more time before the day is through. But, yesterday (yes, I checked my e-mail then too) I went to the gym and am paying for it today. As some of you know, I have a personal trainer who is trying to sell me at Bally's. We did one ab workout a week and a half ago that took me 3 days to sit up from. So, I was a little scared about the full workout she had planned. She was actually very nice and just pushed me harder than I would push myself, but not too hard. However, new muscles were worked and my legs are sore. Getting up and down my two flights of stairs have become a new adventure. I went to the Tap Room last night for open mike night, we have a friend who is a musician. I did not get home until 1:30 AM on a Monday, well I guess Tuesday - that only happens at sales meetings :-) Today, I fell asleep in my nice cushy chair reading a book. I still have housework to do for Thursday, but I am at least building in some relaxing time. We are gonig to see the Harry Potter movie tomorrow at IMAX. Plus our nice, quiet Thanksgiving is turning into the "after-you-are fed-up-with-your-family" house to go to for Euchre. Should be fun, I am looking forward to it. More to come after Thanksgiving.....
Tuesday November 22, 2005 - 02:33pm (EST)