The past two months I have painted 3 rooms, stripped the deck floor and restained it, and stained the picnic table. I have thrown a party for 65 people and I have blisters from raking the yard. I have refinanced one car in order to add another car (that I was not supposed to receive until next year) to my monthly finances. I hopefully have carpet being layed in the next few days and I still need to have my driveway resurfaced.
I have had a few customer appointments, gone to two football camps, 3 days of sales meetings, and ran Jason to speed and agility clinics throughout the month of July.
This is my last weekend before I start traveling again - Terre Haute, Indianapolis, Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, Upper Peninsula, and Minneapolis all before the end of August. And, I am sure there will be more. It is also the last weekend before football practice starts - 5 days a week starting Monday.
Ira will be at a golf tournament all weekend and Jason will be with his Dad. If anyone is looking for me I will be at the beach. By myself. With a book and my raft for 1.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Vacation
I am back to work, but all in all my vacation was pretty nice. We didn't go anywhere specifically, but just stayed close to home.
Monday was Jason's birthday so we did what he wanted to do and that included 9 holes of golf and lunch at Chili's. He requested bbq chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner, but it started to rain and I didn't feel like grilling in the rain. So, we went to Aubree's for pizza. For his and Ira's birthday (Friday) I gave them both bright and shiny #11 Devin Thomas Redskins jerseys, and ironically enough, as soon as we walked into Aubree's Devin was standing right by the door. So, Jason now has an autographed #11 Redskins jersey.
Tuesday we just hung out and played an NFL trivia game - he won in double overtime.
Wednesday, I took Jason and his friend Chris to the water park. It was nice to hang out in the lazy river and get some sun. Wednesday afternoon Jason started speed and agility training, so it was an exhausting day for both of us.
Thursday morning the three of us golfed 18 holes of golf and I made Jason's birthday dinner that I didn't make for him on his birthday.
Friday as Ira's birthday so Jason and I celebrated it by going to see Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D - very cool BTW. For dinner that night Ira requested Blimpyburger, so it was greasy burgers for 5.
Saturday it was boating and tubing with friends - 4 adults and 10 kids, crazy and fun.
Aahh, Sunday, my last day off - painting, running to Stockbridge, and Hartland. Great fun - woo hoo :-)
Monday was Jason's birthday so we did what he wanted to do and that included 9 holes of golf and lunch at Chili's. He requested bbq chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner, but it started to rain and I didn't feel like grilling in the rain. So, we went to Aubree's for pizza. For his and Ira's birthday (Friday) I gave them both bright and shiny #11 Devin Thomas Redskins jerseys, and ironically enough, as soon as we walked into Aubree's Devin was standing right by the door. So, Jason now has an autographed #11 Redskins jersey.
Tuesday we just hung out and played an NFL trivia game - he won in double overtime.
Wednesday, I took Jason and his friend Chris to the water park. It was nice to hang out in the lazy river and get some sun. Wednesday afternoon Jason started speed and agility training, so it was an exhausting day for both of us.
Thursday morning the three of us golfed 18 holes of golf and I made Jason's birthday dinner that I didn't make for him on his birthday.
Friday as Ira's birthday so Jason and I celebrated it by going to see Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D - very cool BTW. For dinner that night Ira requested Blimpyburger, so it was greasy burgers for 5.
Saturday it was boating and tubing with friends - 4 adults and 10 kids, crazy and fun.
Aahh, Sunday, my last day off - painting, running to Stockbridge, and Hartland. Great fun - woo hoo :-)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Revelations
I am the adult child of an alcoholic father and stepmother. I don't think this is news to anyone that knows me, or at least knows me well. My dad has been a drinker and smoker my whole life and my stepmom has been in my life since I was 11 and she was 24.
I could list out a long list of fabulous memories that this disease and addictions have left implanted on my brain. But, I won't. But, it is easy enough to understand why I don't smoke, do drugs, or drink heavily. I have seen enough of the negative results to never want to be in that situation, not put my son through what I had to go through.
As a teenager, I had a smart mouth on me - *shocker*, and got my face slapped a few times for calling my parents drunks, tearing up cigarettes, pouring pepper in beer, etc. The fact of the matter is that I wanted everything to just be fixed, I couldn't stand people I love killing themselves. At 16 I ran away and at 19 I moved out and bought a place with my now ex-husband.
Ok, so that is the summary of the backstory. Now, my dad has gone through rehab (didn't work), almost died from heart failure (at least quit smoking), and was pulled over and charged with a DWI (yep, that did it). He has been going to AA meetings for a year, he was not smoking (was), and has not been drinking (at least not around me). I know, as as adult and through alot of experience, that people with addictions cannot be forced to quit these addictions and change. You can only be supportive of them, but not the behavior, and just be there when they need you.
So, now my stepmom refuses to change. My dad asked her to quit drinking, and told her if she didn't that she might as well go buy him a carton of cigarettes. So, she went and bought him a carton. This absolutely shows a higher desire to not change, than respecting and loving the person that is asking you to change. Plus, he almost died from this crap. You would think she would want to keep him healthy and get herself healthy, but no, she is just too far deep. In fact, I remember her telling me when she was 26 or 27 that drinking and smoking were two of the only things she enjoyed and she wouldn't quit. It's sad that anyone would really think that at that age.
Now, my dad is at his wits end and can't stand to see her drunk all the time. So, he has even told me that he has started drinking because he can't deal with her. This, of course led to a couple hours of conversation on keeping himself healthy first, not falling into the old traps, and leaving the house if necessary to step away from the situation. The funny thing is that after years of dealing with this, I know you can't make anyone change in this situation and that they will hopefully change when they are ready. After all, it took him until he was 61. He actually doesn't understand this, yet that was HIM!!!
I have told him to look inside of him and to remember how he felt when people tried to make him change before he was ready. And to remember that rehab and almost dieing didn't work for him and that nobody is really sure what the right mix will be to make the switch.
I keep urging him to be strong, don't dictate, and be loving. Show her that he is worried about her. Besides the addictions, she is also having stomach issues and hardly eating. So, of course, I am urging that he tries to get her to a doctor to get her healthy and then address the addictions.
The end of it, she is not listening, he doesn't know how to handle it, and I am afraid he is going to just fall back into his issues in order to deal with her. And, how can I help? That I am not so sure of either. I actually suggested discussing this at his next AA meeting because I am sure there are people there that may be going through this same situation.
Knowing me, I am sure I will end up confronting her about it as well. Not that she hasn't been hearing this from me for more than 20 years and she is hearing it from my dad on a daily basis, but maybe it will take both of us showing that we are concerned - who knows. The fact is that you never know what is going on inside someones head who is so far into their disease that they are scared to get clean.
I could list out a long list of fabulous memories that this disease and addictions have left implanted on my brain. But, I won't. But, it is easy enough to understand why I don't smoke, do drugs, or drink heavily. I have seen enough of the negative results to never want to be in that situation, not put my son through what I had to go through.
As a teenager, I had a smart mouth on me - *shocker*, and got my face slapped a few times for calling my parents drunks, tearing up cigarettes, pouring pepper in beer, etc. The fact of the matter is that I wanted everything to just be fixed, I couldn't stand people I love killing themselves. At 16 I ran away and at 19 I moved out and bought a place with my now ex-husband.
Ok, so that is the summary of the backstory. Now, my dad has gone through rehab (didn't work), almost died from heart failure (at least quit smoking), and was pulled over and charged with a DWI (yep, that did it). He has been going to AA meetings for a year, he was not smoking (was), and has not been drinking (at least not around me). I know, as as adult and through alot of experience, that people with addictions cannot be forced to quit these addictions and change. You can only be supportive of them, but not the behavior, and just be there when they need you.
So, now my stepmom refuses to change. My dad asked her to quit drinking, and told her if she didn't that she might as well go buy him a carton of cigarettes. So, she went and bought him a carton. This absolutely shows a higher desire to not change, than respecting and loving the person that is asking you to change. Plus, he almost died from this crap. You would think she would want to keep him healthy and get herself healthy, but no, she is just too far deep. In fact, I remember her telling me when she was 26 or 27 that drinking and smoking were two of the only things she enjoyed and she wouldn't quit. It's sad that anyone would really think that at that age.
Now, my dad is at his wits end and can't stand to see her drunk all the time. So, he has even told me that he has started drinking because he can't deal with her. This, of course led to a couple hours of conversation on keeping himself healthy first, not falling into the old traps, and leaving the house if necessary to step away from the situation. The funny thing is that after years of dealing with this, I know you can't make anyone change in this situation and that they will hopefully change when they are ready. After all, it took him until he was 61. He actually doesn't understand this, yet that was HIM!!!
I have told him to look inside of him and to remember how he felt when people tried to make him change before he was ready. And to remember that rehab and almost dieing didn't work for him and that nobody is really sure what the right mix will be to make the switch.
I keep urging him to be strong, don't dictate, and be loving. Show her that he is worried about her. Besides the addictions, she is also having stomach issues and hardly eating. So, of course, I am urging that he tries to get her to a doctor to get her healthy and then address the addictions.
The end of it, she is not listening, he doesn't know how to handle it, and I am afraid he is going to just fall back into his issues in order to deal with her. And, how can I help? That I am not so sure of either. I actually suggested discussing this at his next AA meeting because I am sure there are people there that may be going through this same situation.
Knowing me, I am sure I will end up confronting her about it as well. Not that she hasn't been hearing this from me for more than 20 years and she is hearing it from my dad on a daily basis, but maybe it will take both of us showing that we are concerned - who knows. The fact is that you never know what is going on inside someones head who is so far into their disease that they are scared to get clean.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
7/4/08
It was a quiet July 4th until 10:00 anyway.
We technically didn't have the kids and we didn't have any company. So, for the first time in a couple of years Ira and I could just do what we wanted to do for July 4th.
Jason was only supposed to be here in the morning, so I got up and made french toast and bacon before he went off to spend the day with his dad. Since his dad will be working at the beer tent at the club on Saturday, they were supposed to spend the whole day together. I did not know my french toast would throw everything off so badly.
I made breakfast around 10 and Jason just called his Dad back to tell him he was going to eat here since I had made breakfast. Meanwhile, Jess decided that he and Janine (girlfriend) were going out for breakfast. Jason called him at 11 and was told that they would be back in a little bit, half hour at the most.
At 11:45, Ira and I rode our bikes down to the parade and Jason chose to stay at home. At 12:35 I get a text that Jason was where we normally sit to watch the parade, but Ira and I were in a different spot. Come to find out he had walked down to the parade because he had gotten tired of waiting for his dad.
After the parade, I had a very slow bike ride home, in order to keep up with my son who (for some reason I still don't understand) walked. It was after 1:00 before Jess and Janine finally came back and called Jason to see if he wanted to watch a movie with them. At this point, he's pissed and declines.
Ira and I went to the store to decide what we wanted for dinner, at least pretty sure it will only be us for dinner anyway. NY Strip, salad, grilled potatos, and strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Jason finally decides to ride his bike (novel idea) to his grandma's and ends up between there and with Jess for the rest of the night.
Ira and I then hung out, had dinner, and rode our bikes up to the fireworks. From there is was cannons, bombs, guns, explosives until midnight. Well, not really, but it sounded like we were in the middle of a war with all the fireworks going off in the area. But, it's July 4th, why not make a lot of noise to celebrate!!
Today, we have a party to go to, and Jason will be going with us. As noted, in one of my last posts, he has been spending a lot more time at home and the story above has become day-to-day. Ira and I are starting to think there may be a bit of a Janine conspiracy going on and Jess just can't see it. But, I feel sorry for Jason, and I have tried to stay out of the middle of it. I have just told Jess that Jason just wants to spend time with him, but he has just been too busy for him, and the sad thing is that the busyness really isn't anything of any major consequence - it's just busyness. He only went to 2 baseball games, I have been the one with him at camps, Ira and I will be the ones running him to speed/agility clinics for the next two weeks and Jess is just too blind to see it.
Either he is going to wake up or Jason is going to keep pushing himself away from him, which is the one thing I fought hard to keep together when we divorced - breaks my heart!
We technically didn't have the kids and we didn't have any company. So, for the first time in a couple of years Ira and I could just do what we wanted to do for July 4th.
Jason was only supposed to be here in the morning, so I got up and made french toast and bacon before he went off to spend the day with his dad. Since his dad will be working at the beer tent at the club on Saturday, they were supposed to spend the whole day together. I did not know my french toast would throw everything off so badly.
I made breakfast around 10 and Jason just called his Dad back to tell him he was going to eat here since I had made breakfast. Meanwhile, Jess decided that he and Janine (girlfriend) were going out for breakfast. Jason called him at 11 and was told that they would be back in a little bit, half hour at the most.
At 11:45, Ira and I rode our bikes down to the parade and Jason chose to stay at home. At 12:35 I get a text that Jason was where we normally sit to watch the parade, but Ira and I were in a different spot. Come to find out he had walked down to the parade because he had gotten tired of waiting for his dad.
After the parade, I had a very slow bike ride home, in order to keep up with my son who (for some reason I still don't understand) walked. It was after 1:00 before Jess and Janine finally came back and called Jason to see if he wanted to watch a movie with them. At this point, he's pissed and declines.
Ira and I went to the store to decide what we wanted for dinner, at least pretty sure it will only be us for dinner anyway. NY Strip, salad, grilled potatos, and strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Jason finally decides to ride his bike (novel idea) to his grandma's and ends up between there and with Jess for the rest of the night.
Ira and I then hung out, had dinner, and rode our bikes up to the fireworks. From there is was cannons, bombs, guns, explosives until midnight. Well, not really, but it sounded like we were in the middle of a war with all the fireworks going off in the area. But, it's July 4th, why not make a lot of noise to celebrate!!
Today, we have a party to go to, and Jason will be going with us. As noted, in one of my last posts, he has been spending a lot more time at home and the story above has become day-to-day. Ira and I are starting to think there may be a bit of a Janine conspiracy going on and Jess just can't see it. But, I feel sorry for Jason, and I have tried to stay out of the middle of it. I have just told Jess that Jason just wants to spend time with him, but he has just been too busy for him, and the sad thing is that the busyness really isn't anything of any major consequence - it's just busyness. He only went to 2 baseball games, I have been the one with him at camps, Ira and I will be the ones running him to speed/agility clinics for the next two weeks and Jess is just too blind to see it.
Either he is going to wake up or Jason is going to keep pushing himself away from him, which is the one thing I fought hard to keep together when we divorced - breaks my heart!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Summer cookout
Summer is here! Baseball is over!!
So, in the past few weeks we have had 2 football camps, baseball games, a friend visit from out of state which led to hanging out with friends 2 weeks ago, a birthday party that we were supposed to go to a week ago, but Ira got sick, our own party this past weekend, another party on Saturday, 2 birthdays next week, 2 weeks of speed/agility/power training, and possibly a basketball camp. And - 1 week of vacation. Phew!!
Our party went great. It started with the first ring of the doorbell at 7:55 am which led to Ira paintballing with 5 kids for 4 hours while I finished setting up the yard. Patiently waiting for the second rain to stop, of course.
At 1 we picked up the kids and they had two hours to get cleaned up before the cookout.
After that I still had to go pick up the cake, since it wasn't ready early like I had hoped. When I came back there was mud on my carpet from a paintballer and 10 lbs of rock solid frozen burger (that was being dropped off when I left) on my counter. How am I supposed to make burgers and sloppy joes with frozen burger and now I have to go get the mud spots out of my carpet. Oh yeah, and I have one hour before more people start showing up. But, thank goodness that is where the drama ended and 6 lbs of burger went into a sink of water :-)
We had 60 people through our house until 3 am. There was redneck golf, kickball, water balloons, water buckets, hoses, and alot of wet kids. There was great food, good times, and lots of laughter. There was a even a dog fight (okay, so it was one more piece of drama) between Sasha and my parents dog, Rusty. I am pretty sure I will have scars from where I was bit due to that piece of excitement. We had a bonfire later at night, but since the kids had gone through approximately 6 12 packs of faygo, cookies, brownies, and cake, I decided to keep the smores stuff in the cupboard.
We went to bed around 3 and the 7 boys in my basement went to sleep between 3 and 4 am. The poor dog looked at me like I was crazy when I said let's go to bed and she had to climb the stairs. She is used to going to bed at 10 and she was exhausted.
I was up at 9:15 the next morning to start cleaning up the yard, deck, garage, and kitchen. I made the kids cinnamon rolls and they were having so much fun they were calling their parents to stay longer. I have to admit I was ready for an empty house by that point.
There was a pool party at 1 for the spring baseball and soccer teams that I opted out of, but Ira took Jason and Alison. At 1:30, after 2 weeks of planning, shopping, cooking, painting, cleaning, and socializing, I didn't have to do anything and I had a kid-free quiet house.
So, in the past few weeks we have had 2 football camps, baseball games, a friend visit from out of state which led to hanging out with friends 2 weeks ago, a birthday party that we were supposed to go to a week ago, but Ira got sick, our own party this past weekend, another party on Saturday, 2 birthdays next week, 2 weeks of speed/agility/power training, and possibly a basketball camp. And - 1 week of vacation. Phew!!
Our party went great. It started with the first ring of the doorbell at 7:55 am which led to Ira paintballing with 5 kids for 4 hours while I finished setting up the yard. Patiently waiting for the second rain to stop, of course.
At 1 we picked up the kids and they had two hours to get cleaned up before the cookout.
After that I still had to go pick up the cake, since it wasn't ready early like I had hoped. When I came back there was mud on my carpet from a paintballer and 10 lbs of rock solid frozen burger (that was being dropped off when I left) on my counter. How am I supposed to make burgers and sloppy joes with frozen burger and now I have to go get the mud spots out of my carpet. Oh yeah, and I have one hour before more people start showing up. But, thank goodness that is where the drama ended and 6 lbs of burger went into a sink of water :-)
We had 60 people through our house until 3 am. There was redneck golf, kickball, water balloons, water buckets, hoses, and alot of wet kids. There was great food, good times, and lots of laughter. There was a even a dog fight (okay, so it was one more piece of drama) between Sasha and my parents dog, Rusty. I am pretty sure I will have scars from where I was bit due to that piece of excitement. We had a bonfire later at night, but since the kids had gone through approximately 6 12 packs of faygo, cookies, brownies, and cake, I decided to keep the smores stuff in the cupboard.
We went to bed around 3 and the 7 boys in my basement went to sleep between 3 and 4 am. The poor dog looked at me like I was crazy when I said let's go to bed and she had to climb the stairs. She is used to going to bed at 10 and she was exhausted.
I was up at 9:15 the next morning to start cleaning up the yard, deck, garage, and kitchen. I made the kids cinnamon rolls and they were having so much fun they were calling their parents to stay longer. I have to admit I was ready for an empty house by that point.
There was a pool party at 1 for the spring baseball and soccer teams that I opted out of, but Ira took Jason and Alison. At 1:30, after 2 weeks of planning, shopping, cooking, painting, cleaning, and socializing, I didn't have to do anything and I had a kid-free quiet house.
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