Drunk and Sober

Well, all of the Christmas activities are now complete with little drama. Other than the "other" parents wanting to either wait until 8:30 Christmas Eve for us to get one child or the the other two wanting to have the children at 10:00 Christmas morning everything went okay. When we have the kids for Christmas that generally means 3 or 4 Christmas Eve to Noon Christmas Day, which to me is not unreasonable, actually it is pretty generous on our part. But, somehow this does not fit into everyone else's schedules. When in fact we could keep them all day Christmas, we never do which means "they" get the kids every single Christmas while we get Christmas morning every other year. Which is fine, except that we do ask that they give us the time we deserve and ask for and not be a bunch of whiners about it. Anyway, that was the only drama we really had.

Ira confronted his Mom last week on how Jason and I are treated by her and the family and it seemed to have helped a little. I still see a lot of shortfalls, but I will be patient to see if more changes are in the works.

The real meaning behind this blog is Christmas Eve and my Dad's journey into sobriety. All of my life my Dad has been a drinker, scratch that, a drunk. He was a factory rat his whole life and carried a pint of whiskey in his glove box. I have always been close to my Dad, but I have grown up with a tougher exterior in order to deal with him and my stepmom (also alcoholic, but won't admit it).

There have been few times in my life that I can remember that he has quit drinking. There has been the time that he decided that he wanted to quit, drank himself to oblivion, and I took him to rehab the next morning. It seems to me that the sobriety after that didn't last long. Then there was a couple of years ago after having a heart attack and now, after getting a DWI. When my Dad is drinking he is tough, opinioninated, obnoxious, and down right rude. He still has his highlights, but overall that is what you get. Anytime he gets sober, I never believe it will last because I never see him really wanting to be sober.

I am a bit more optimistic this time, even if it is because he legally has no choice, he seems to be embracing it. The great thing about my Dad is that when he is sober, I love to be around him. He is loving, compassionate, intelligent, and friendly. A complete 180 from the man I have grown up with. He was a pleasure to be around on Christmas Eve and when he and Ira talked on the phone last night Ira could hardly get him off the phone for us to walk into our movie.

He has been two months sober, he is attending outpatient classes, and attending AA meetings. I am not putting all of my faith into this recovery, but I am really praying that it works this time. My Stepmom does not appear to have stopped drinking, but she seems to have slowed down, which is all I can ask for until she is ready to change her habits. I always told them that they were going to have side by side hospital beds due to lung cancer, kidney failure, emphysema, or some other disease brought on by smoking and drinking, if they didn't change something, but that was as a kid and young adult. I learned a long time ago that you can voice your opinions, let them know how you feel, and test the boundaries. But, nothing will change until the person with the addiction wants to change.

I am starting to see the desire to change in my Dad, and I just hope he sticks with it this time. I would like to spend the rest of his years with this great person that I like to spend time with.